Town Hall Meeting with al-Qaida Declared a Total Disaster: "It seemed like a great idea at the time,' mediator Ted Koppel said afterwards from the Fairfax Medical Center where he was being treated for shrapnel wounds. 'We thought, why not see if we could find some common ground with those people who seem to hate us most.'
According to witnesses, there didn't seem to be much common ground from the onset, as the confused Arabs --who have spent the last 18 months holed up in a trench outside the Tora Bora mountains on the Pakistani/Afghanistan border --began screaming and waving large rifles and threatening to explode the suicide belts wrapped around their waists.
'I was really really scared,' said Arlington resident Pam Sprague who had just asked the the panel if they could each elaborate on steps they were taking to bring about peaceful solution to their longtime hatred towards each other.
'They didn't even answer my question. They shot the guy holding the microphone. Then they started screaming 'Allahu Akbar' over and over and tossing grenades. They were obviously very frightened and angry.'"